family

30

Saya selalu senyum-senyum sendiri tatkala mendengarkan cerita cinta mereka. Lucu dan seru. Ya, kisah cinta bapak dan ibu saya. Mereka bertemu di Bandung, ketika Bapak saya sudah menjadi mahasiswa tingkat akhir jurusanTeknik Arsitektur ITB dan Ibu saya masih tingkat awal di jurusan Akuntansi Unpar. Berbeda kampus rupanya tidak menghalangi cinta mereka untuk bersemi (halah). Jadi ceritanya mereka berdua bergabung di paduan suara Katedral Bandung. Nah di situlah benih-benih cinta itu tumbuh. Haha. Anaknya padahal dulu berkhayal bisa punya kisah cinta yang ala-ala mereka gitu, tapi gagal total!

Singkat cerita, setelah pacaran 4 tahun, mereka menikah pada 13 November 1986. Pada saat itu Ibu saya masih kuliah dan Bapak saya baru banget bekerja dengan penghasilan yang tidak bisa dikatakan mencukupi untuk membina sebuah rumah tangga. Tiap kali Bapak menceritakan tentang ini, saya berkomentar : “Gila ya..Bapak nekad banget ngawinin anak orang, padahal kerjaan juga belum settle” Awal masa-masa pernikahan mereka benar-benar penuh perjuangan karena harus melalui long distance marriage (LDM sudah eksis lho by the way sejak tahun 80an, cuma generasi sekarang suka melebih-lebihkan kondisi LDM ini ya..*peace*). Bapak kerja di Jakarta, Ibu kuliah di Bandung. Pas hamil saya pun, Ibu masih aktif kuliah dan pulang pergi Jakarta Bandung. Luar biasa. Keren banget ya saya, sudah ikut kuliah sejak masih di dalam rahim Ibu. Setelah Ibu saya lulus kuliah dan bekerja, kehidupan mereka mulai agak lebih baik. Tapi, tantangan lain mulai datang dengan lahirnya adik-adik saya. Mereka memiliki pola yang berbeda terkait mendidik anak.

Sebagai anak tertua, saya bisa melihat bahwa kedua orang tua saya berusaha untuk memiliki satu suara dalam hal apapun ketika menghadapi kami, anak-anaknya. Walaupun di balik itu, mereka pasti harus berargumen terlebih dahulu. Satu hal lagi yang mengagumkan dari mereka adalah tidak pernah membanding-bandingkan ketiga anaknya, tapi selalu membangga-banggakan kami kepada teman-teman mereka. Hal-hal negatif hanya boleh dibicarakan di dalam rumah dan dicari penyelesaiannya, tidak boleh sampai keluar. Mereka juga tidak pernah menghakimi pilihan anak-anaknya. Kami bertiga memiliki minat yang jauh berbeda dari mereka. Tapi mereka selalu memberikan dukungan penuh. Bahkan untuk hal-hal kecil yang berkaitan dengan hobi kami.

Ketika kami beranjak besar, mereka mulai sering sharing tentang bagaimana memilih pasangan hidup. Ini berlaku untuk adik-adik saya yang cowok sih. Hati-hati memilih calon istri, karena salah-salah malah akan menjerumuskanmu. Haha.

Mereka juga selalu menekankan bahwa ketika kita memutuskan menikah dengan seseorang, artinya kita mau menerima semua hal yang berkaitan dengan dia-kebaikan, keburukannya, keluarganya, dan lain-lain-seumur hidup. Jadi, harus benar-benar siap.

Selamat merayakan ulang tahun perkawinan yang ketiga puluh. Semoga selalu dalam lindungan Tuhan. Terima kasih untuk segala nasihat dan petuah hidup yang telah Bapak & Ibu berikan untuk kami. Dan kami tidak akan pernah bisa membalas segala kebaikan Bapak & Ibu, hanya bisa bersyukur kepada Tuhan memiliki orang tua seperti Bapak & Ibu. Jalan kami masih panjang, dan kami berharap Bapak & Ibuย berdua selalu mendampingi dalam setiap jengkal langkah kami ke depannya. Bapak dan Ibu, you’re my inspiration! ๐Ÿ™‚

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But for those who love, time is eternal -Shakespeare

My Parents, My Career Coaches

I consider myself lucky because I have a very cool parents. Both my mom and dad are more like best friends for me rather than parents. They are my best supporters, my discussion partners, my fashion stylist (my mom, to be exact), and my love guru. Yes, an all in one package. This is one of the benefits when you are close with your parents. ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

Right after I started my full-time job in my current place, they have one more role in my life. Career Coaches. You know, nowadays people must pay to attend seminars about how to improve their performances in their workplace. Well, I can get it for free at anytime. All I need is just knock on my parents’ bedroom, sitting on their bed and start to tell about things that bothering me in the office. And they always give me the best advice.

I’m not a kind of people who like to whine about my job to strangers. I never complain about my job, in any ways, throughout social media. That’s like the basic principle of my professional life. I only share my working problems with my closest colleagues in the office and with my parents.

I’m very grateful that both of my parents are full-time professionals. Since I was a kid, I’ve used to have limited time to meet my parents during the weekdays, because they have 9-5 jobs. My mom almost never came to parents gathering back then when I was in school. Because she has a job. It was weird for me looking at my friends moms who had plenty of time chit-chatting with others. What a waste of time! Haha.

I have accustomed to see my parents being busy with their works. So when later on I grew up, my mind automatically “told” me to follow my parents’ path. Get academic qualification as high as possible, find a good job that give good earnings, start a family, success in career and family.

These are some career-related advices that my parents always told me over and over again. Perhaps these might be useful for you, who are currently still building your career like me :

  • Never say “no” when your boss assigns you to do a certain task. No matter how hard it is.
  • Don’t complain about your salary, if your company gives you chances to grow your network and gives you spaces to improve your performances. On the other hand, you must complain if the company gives you high salary but you do not have chances to grow and expand your network.
  • Talk only when you’re asked to
  • Do each of your task with love
  • Stay humble and hungry to learn
  • Always have a multi-perspective way of thinking. Put your shoes on other people’s shoes.
  • When you move to a new workplace, never ever talk bad things about your previous company. Your attitude towards this matter will show your real quality as a person.

Misunderstandings, miscommunications, having different opinions. Those are normal things that happen in professional working life. I have experienced those kind of problems. Most of the times I am okay with that, can find ways to solve the problems by myself, ย and take whatever experience as lessons for me to learned. But sometimes there are problems that stroked me quite hard until I need to talk to my parents. They always start their career coaching with this question : “if you’re in their position and must face this kind of situation, what would you do?” That question will most probably lead to a very long discussion. Haha. And it always end up with me saying : “okay, I need to change my perspective, then”.

I practice what my parents told me in the office and I feel that I am now different if compared to almost one year ago when I just started this job. My boss also once told me that I can adapt very well with every changes that happen in the office. Yes, boss. I have these two amazing people behind me who have started mentoring me about working life long before I had a real full-time job. ๐Ÿ™‚

To finish this post, I will give you this quote that my dad once told me

“If you perform well in a company that can provide you with everything you need, that’s normal. But if you are placed in a company where you are surrounded by negative people, and yet you can still survive and become the outstanding one among others,ย that’s what we call extraordinary”

 

 

 

 

 

My Childhood Christmas Tale

I grew up believing that Santa Clause exists. My parents made me. I’m so thankful now that they made me believe in that such kind of fairytale. I had a wonderful childhood because of that. ๐Ÿ™‚

I still remember how on early Decembers I started to pray so that Santa would bring me presents that I wished to get on the Christmas day. I wrote a letter to Santa the day before Christmas, put it inside a shoe, filled the shoe with a handful of grasses taken from our backyard. Why grasses? Because I believed that Santa’s rain deers must be really exhausted and hungry after a very long journey from North Pole to my house. So I gotta feed them.

I believed in Santa Claus until I was a 6th grader and honestly I couldn’t remember exactly how I figured out that all of those stuffs about Santa Claus was actually fictional. However, during that period when I still believing on the existence of that chubby beardy old man from North Pole, I got so many presents from “Santa”. Most of them are books. Encyclopedia of Influential People and Harry Potter series were just some presents from “Santa” that I can still remember until now. Yeah, I’ve been a bibliophile since I was very young, indeed.

I never hate my parents for “lying” to me (and my brothers) about Santa Claus. It made my Christmas more joyful, as a kid. And somehow nowadays I secretly hoping that I could repeat those moments. I miss being a kid.

Christmas is still my favorite day of the year, beside my birthday. And today is just a little bit over a week before Christmas.

As a kid or as an adult, there’s one thing that never change about Christmas. It’s the time for family gathering. ๐Ÿ™‚

When I have a kid someday, I will make him/her believe in Santa Claus, as my parents did to me. I want to bring the joy of Christmas for my kid, as well. ๐Ÿ˜€

Happy counting the days until Christmas, guys!!! Don’t forget to warm yourself with a cup of hot chocolate (and some marshmallows on top of it….oh how I miss marshmallows, it’s hard to get them here) during this gloomy weather.

My Mom Said :

“Keep praying. Never give up. And don’t ever blame God for all of these situations that currently happening in your life. I believe, you will get what God thinks best for you, eventually. Be patient.”

Thanks Mom…and everyone who always boost up my spirit with their words of encouragement. Those words mean a lot for me.

Happy Birthday, Dad! :*

me & daddy

Dad, words can’t describe anymore how much I love you

You, together with Mom, are the most wonderful people in my life

You’re not only a Dad for me

You’re my discussion partner and my biggest supporter ever

And don’t forget, both of us are the joker in the family

I wish you a very happy and healthy life ahead

I wish you are still going to be there, when I accomplish my dream

I dream of a day when you say : “Yes, I’m completely done raising my daughter”

I wish I’m still going to have an opportunity to take care of you when you’re getting older

Dad, I know that you really want me to stay near to you

But just to let you know, Dad. Near or far, our hearts always intertwine with each other. So, don’t worry.

And yes, you’re always there in my prayerย 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DADDY. I LOVE YOU

My Mom & Dad’s 26

They got married 26 years ago. I pretty much know about their love stories and all of those silly things happened when they were still just a couple of lovebirds. Yes, my mom and dad always tell us everything. My mom and my dad – I always call them Bapak & Ibu – are two people with a contrast personality. Bapak is a calm and friendly person, while Ibu is a discipline and firm person. But look at them, they can survive 26 years and solve all of the problems that happen in their marriage, together. I salute them!

They met each other in Bandung. My dad was studying in the same university as me, and my mom was studying in a private university in Bandung (guess!). So, destiny brought them to meet, somehow. Haha.

After they got married, they started everything from the very beginning. They always mention how they rented a small house for the three of us. Because 1.5 years after they got married, this little Ella was born finally.

I’m so grateful to have a parents like them. They’re not a type of “scary” parents. Totally no. They’re more like my best friends, actually. However, many times they tell us some important life lessons. One of the most important ones, the one that I will keep in my mind : “life is like a wheel. sometimes we’re on the top, but who knows one day we’re gonna be at the bottom and we need other people’s help. so, when you’re on top, don’t forget to help people who ask for help from you. any people. even when they’ve ever hurt you in the past. help them!” They also always remind us to appreciate the value of money. They say : “even Rp.100,- is worth, because we got it from our struggle”

They’re also my best supporter. They never forbid me to do anything that I want, as long as I’m responsible with my choice. They let me choose my field of study. And one more thing, they guide us to grow in the name of God. Whenever we skype or text each other (since I live separately from them in this past 1 year), they never forget reminding me to pray. I always ask God to someday give me a husband who is willing to grow up together in the name of HIM. Hopefully. Amen.

So yesterday, my Dad texted me saying : “Ella, me and your mom are having lunch to celebrate our anniversary (thankfully without your brothers’ disturbance). Thank God, we’ve already passed 26 years without any hard problems. We thank God for having such nice kids like you guys, as well. We ย gain more opinions, as all of you grow older now”

Aww, suddenly I (almost) burst into tears. I love you more than anything in the world, Mom & Dad. I’ll try my best to make you proud. I’m gonna grow up into a young woman, but I don’t mind if you always think of me as your little girl, mommy & daddy. And, yes I know that you’re waiting for a son- in- law in the family. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Can’t promise you that I will get one soon, but I will give you one, for sure someday. ๐Ÿ˜€

Happy 26th wedding anniversary, Bapak & Ibu! :* Hugs and Kisses! xoxo

Happy 18, Brother!

Saya & Bagus waktu kecil

 

 

 

 

 

Saya & Bagus, sekarang. Sorry fotonya gak jelas. Dia gak mau terlalu terekspos, katanya. :p

Hey tidak terasa usiamu sudah 18 tahun ya hari ini. Sudah besar, kamu ya dek. Udah mulai berani pacaran. Tapi, tidak apa-apalah. Masa remaja memang masa untuk mengeksplorasi diri dan lingkungan kan?

Aku masih ingat lho, waktu kecil kamu bandel banget. Dengan tampang innocent itu seakan kamu punya alibi untuk semua “tindak kejahatan” yang kamu lakukan. Haha. Berhubung aku anak yang paling besar, aku lah yang selalu jadi “tersangka” kalau ada keributan di antara kita berdua. Semua orang senang sama kamu, dek karena kulitmu yang putih, bibirmu yang merah merekah (kayak cewek), dan wajahmu yang seperti orang Cina. Tapi, sayang sekali ya, jejak kegantengan masa kecilmu sekarang sudah tidak bersisa. Hahaha. ๐Ÿ˜€

Tidak, aku tidak pernah iri sama kamu yang begitu lucu waktu masih kecil. Waktu kamu lahir dulu, aku senang sekali karena akhirnya aku punya seorang adik. Sudah puas aku 5 tahun menjadi anak tunggal yang selalu dimanja dan menjadi tumpuan kasih sayang bapak & ibu.

Memang waktu kecil kita sering berantem. Tapi, seiring bertambah usia kita, kamu ternyata bisa aku jadikan sebagai teman diskusi yang menyenangkan juga. Kadang tanpa kamu sadari, kamu keceplosan menceritakan tentang cewek-cewek yang lagi dekat sama kamu. Haha..itu lucu banget lho!

Dulu waktu kamu tahu aku keterima kuliah di ITB, aku ingat kamu bilang begini : “Aku nanti mau kuliah di tempat yang lebih bagus daripada ITB”. Aku tidak mau kalau kita hidup dalam persaingan satu sama lain, karena kita bersaudara. Sesama saudara tidak boleh bersaing, tapi harus saling mendukung. Semua orang sudah ditentukan jalannya oleh Tuhan.

Satu hal saja yang mau aku sampaikan buatmu. Jangan pernah nyuekin orang tua. Iya sih kamu gak pernah bermasalah di sekolah. Nilai-nilai kamu selalu bagus. Bahkan aku dengar beberapa waktu yang lalu kamu termasuk dalam deretan siswa berprestasi di sekolahmu. Well, hanya dengan melihat nama sekolahmu saja aku tau kalau kamu adalah seorang anak yang brilian. Sekolah terbaik di Jakarta, meeenn!! hehe. Tapi, kalau lagi dinasehati bapak & ibu, mbok ya didengerin dengan sepenuh hati gitu, dek. Akhirnya aku bilang sama bapak & ibu : “Bagus emang anaknya mengejutkan, pak bu. Dia santai-santai gitu juga nanti hasilnya baik2 aja kok. Percaya deh.”

Selamat 18 ya adikku, Alfonsus Maria Bagus Dwiaji. Semoga panjang umur, sukses, dan sehat selalu. Semoga UN dan SNMPTN nanti sukses! Sukses percintaannya juga, biar gak galau terus. Hahaha ๐Ÿ˜€