you know it..karma

I’ve been insulted by some people who didn’t know me and my close friends well. They said that we were trying to be exclusive by not mingling with the others. Choosing your best friends is one of  an individual’s privilege, isn’t it? Yeah, we surely have to be friends with everyone because we’re human, socialize creatures. But, it’s our nature that we want to share our thoughts, share our feelings with someones who understand us, rite? Someones who maybe don’t have the same paradigms but can understand us best. And I’ve found it in my bestfriends. Okay I spend most of my time together with them but not all the time. So, please don’t judge us wrong because you DON’T know the real situation is.

Do you know about karma? Every little thing you do, whether it’s good or bad, have its own karma. You’ll receive revenge for everything you do. I never pray for something bad to happen to someone. But I really believe in karma. I always wanna help everyone I know and I never think that maybe some of them will ‘sort of’ using me to reach their own purposes. I don’t know maybe I’m too innocent or something so that they think I’m just a naive person that can be used by them. Gosh!

And 1 more thing, I’m not a malicious person. But, for me it is so hard to easily accepting someone’s apology. Don’t apologize to me. Just don’t do the same mistakes in the future. That’s what I want. For my (our) case, I think it doesn’t matter at all anymore now. At least, they have received their (bad) karma. And yeah I hate fake smiles, so if you don’t like me just say : “Ella, I don’t like your attitude!” in front of my face, instead of backstabbed me. Aaaannndd…I don’t like BIG MOUTH boys. It’s kinda banci for me.

Remember this quote by Michael Jackson?

Before you judge me, try hard to love me

Try to “love” us before you judge us. Ahh..luckily there’re just less than 1 year left. I want ot get out from this kind of situation. Really!

Easy To Talk, Uneasy To Act

I’m really opposed with different religion relationship and I’m so angry with everyone who involve in that kind of relationship. Until I nearly involved in that same situation. Yeah, I’ve had fallen with a wrong guy. And now I realize that it was a forbidden feeling.

I’ve known him for just about 1 or 2 months (I forgot). Since the first time we met each other, I knew that he’s a good boy.  He didn’t look me as a stranger, ever since when the first time we met. And I don’t know but we were so ‘clicked’ with one each other. We were like 2 old friends who haven’t met for a looong time instead of a stranger that have just known one each other. I adore his personality.

Few days later, he added my FB account. Of course I was so happy haha :). Then I know he was a Moslem and younger than me. Dang! I tried to remind myself not to fall for him. Everytime I’m with him, I must say to myself : Ella, you mustn’t let this feeling grows.

This situation is really hard, actually. If some of you feel that I’m too naive not to try this relationship, well I don’t think so. For me, religion IS  a big deal. It is my basic principle to build a relationship with someone.

Once again this is rather hard for me for denying my own feeling. I’ve chosen to move on and not to think of him anymore. I prefer to be single now to having a wrong relationship. Yeah, he cares about me, he appreciates everything I’ve done, he’s a good boy, he treats me like a woman. He’s I always describe him to my friends. He’s my mood-booster. And yeah he’s a violist/pianist. Haha.. But, still, he’s not the right one for me.

Now I know how it feels for everyone who involved in a different religion relationship or marriage. It surely hard, doesn’t it?

It was easy for me to oppose that kind of relationship. But, when I involve in one of those, I feel that it was indeed  really uneasy. Yeah, life is always about to choose and now I choose to believe and stand in my own basic principle. I don’t want to dissapoint my family by choosing the wrong path in my life. Hihi 🙂

So happy Sunday prepare for the upcoming weeks!

ps: I have a Tumblr account. Feel free to give some visits there..

(hopefully will be) Sweet November

This saturday will be the last day of the first week of November. Gosh, I really don’t realize that time’s flown so fast. So, how was your first week of November so far, reader? Was it exciting? Me? Not really.

Actually November won’t be as sweet as it seems for me since I have a lot of things to be completed  by the end of this month. I must finish the final project proposal. I’ve finished it though but I still have to revise it because there are some essential things and basic principles that I’ve forgotten to put on the proposal. I’ve made a target for myself that at the end of this month I’ll have presented that proposal in front of my advisors. I hope I’ll have prepared everything for  the research on December. Aaaaaahhh…I wish 1 day were more than 24 hours!

And the second thing is…jengjengjeng..

I have to complete the application for applying a master scholarship. Yeah, I got the information about master and doctoral scholarship of international program to Japan few weeks ago from my friend. I thought there are nothing to loose so I decided to apply. So, currently I’m busy with completing all of the requirements. This saturday I’ll take the ITP TOEFL test. Please wish me luck, readers! I hope I can get a much better TOEFL score than 3 years ago when I took predictional TOEFL. And uhhhh…I haven’t made my CV. I don’t have any good pictures to put in my CV. Haha.. 🙂

I still  pray that my November will be sweet, though. When I’m stucked in my busy activities, I always say to myself that December is just one month away. It means that christmas is just one month away.

Enjoy your November, readers whether you’re busy or not! Have fun…..

See you later..

ps : finally I’ve done all of the midtests. tired with the last exam today..12 number of problems essay..can’t you imagine??